Thursday, October 1, 2009

Hesitate

About 5 years ago I had genetic testing done since my mom tested positive for BRCA1 and had breast cancer at an early age. It turns out that I also carry the gene mutation BRCA1, which means that I have an 86% chance of developing breast cancer and a 43% chance of ovarian cancer. At the time I took the news hard. I couldn't tell someone the results with out tearing up.
Fast forward to today and I look at the results as a blessing. They give me a chance to live a better life so that I don't increase my chances of cancer. I don't drink alcohol, I try to exercise, and I hesitate when certain drugs are prescribed.
The last one has been hard these past couple of years. When my doctor suggested taking Clomid to conceive I wasn't sure about it because it can increase my chances of cancer. It was successful the first time I took it. The next time I took Clomid, it was successful. This time it was not successful and increasing the dose was not successful. The side effects are too much for me and David, so we are done with this option.
I hesitate to tell people how I am struggling with infertility because the suggestions and comments that are given and the reality is that it hurts to face that I can't have children easily. I really wanted to have children close together, but this happens with God's timing.
Right now it looks like an adoption from China will be 5 to 10 years. I've just started looking into this so if you have any suggestions on agencies or know someone that went through an international adoption, let me know.

5 comments:

  1. No comments or suggestions Amy...just a hug and an ear if you need to vent!

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  2. if you have a 9 month old, then you haven't been trying to conceive baby #2 for that long. give your body a chance. after all, you had a healthy baby the first time. if you're patient, i bet you'll get another chance soon enough! hang in there and relax. the stress of "trying" so much can be harmful in itself. things happen according to God's timing, not always ours. good luck!

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  3. Chen X Family Blog. Tell Carita how you know me and what my brother's name is. See if she is open to a phone call. Tell her I said hi.

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  4. oh amy, i understand now why you said you wanted as many as God would give you! isaac has a strong momma

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  5. Amy, I am enjoying reading through your blog. I remember when you had that testing done. I remember when you got engaged to David. God has His own timing, but He sure knows what he is doing. Gary and I adopted Caedyn at birth; then when she was 8 months old, I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant! I was shocked for the next 6 months until Eli blessed us with his presence. If you need a great adoption lawyer, let me know. I know you are in Indiana (right?), but he may have some connections. I will pray for your blessings to continue! Visit my blog at melissagaryandcaedyn.blogspot.com

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