Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I talked about her on here before, but she is the best doctor I've ever had. I called her office about a month ago because it was not getting better. My doctor's nurse, the pediatrician, and other mamas have told me it gets better. It being motherhood.
I have had overwhelming anxiety and worry over taking care of Isaac and keeping him safe. It was to the point that I wanted to drop him off at a safe place because that anxiety and worry are gone when I'm not with him. While David was out of town I finally called my doctor and she had me get in my car and go there immediately. I've prayed for awhile about this issue and felt that it was a mistake for me to be seeing her while I was waiting. I'm not depressed and don't want to harm my child; so it's hard for me to say this is Postpartum Depression. After talking with my doctor she let me know that what I'm feeling is normal and that I need to get a babysitter so that I have time away from Isaac. She also put me on medicine which has made a huge difference. The first day I took it I noticed that I was able to make it through the day and not be angry at the end of the day.
I should have called her earlier. I just kept praying hoping that God would send me another answer, not the one that was in front of me. It was very hard for me to admit that I didn't want my child because he is so precious and I've wanted him for so long.
It is now getting better and I'm enjoying my time with Isaac. David has been an incredible husband through this all and continues to demonstrate this daily.
I left him on the green towel after his bath while I went to get a diaper and this is what I came back to.
A couple of people have asked me how the gDiapers are going. Well, they aren't going; I sold them. He grew out of the first size too fast. I also tried out a couple of AIO (all in one) and pocket cloth diapers. I really liked the idea of the AIO diaper but the pocket diaper was better because it could absorb more. I discontinued the gDiapers because I was changing his outfit just about every diaper change. All the cloth diapers I tried leaked at some point and it takes a little more effort, on my part, to plan out how many needed to be clean for the day.