Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Day 8 After the Mastectomy

First I want to thank all of you that have been sending me messages of encouragement and how I have been helping you through this journaling process. I am so grateful that I am able to show others what their experience might be like. I am also very grateful for all the prayers that helped me keep calm and healthy through this. I may not be able to thank all you individually but I will always remember your kindness.
Today has been much better as far as doing things more independently, but I do still have limits and it's hard to remember those limits when I feel like I can do it. I find it is difficult to reach for things off the shelves in my cabinets or to reach for the shampoo in the ledge in the shower. This is kind of embarrassing, but it's also hard to wipe after using the restroom.
Now on to the pictures. As you see in the first there is something yellow just under my breast that is hard like a rib but it is not a rib. My guess is that it is alloderm, or cadaver skin to help hold the implant in place. It's just really weird how both sides look completely different. By the way the wrinkles across my breasts are from the bra that I have to wear 24/7. Today I didn't sleep nearly as much but the pain drugs still make me completely unbalanced when I try to walk. I'll talk more about this to the doctor tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing doctors weekly for a while. I thought it was interesting that one of my doctors wants me to continue to take the Valium long after the Norco (pain pills) to help with the muscle spasms as they try to readjust. I feel like I'm on a slew of medicines right now since I need benadryl for the side effects of the pain pills, antibiotics, Valium, and then a stool softener to counter act all the drugs.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Day 7 after the mastectomy

Well, the drains got yanked out today. It hurt like the dickens but oh so comfortable now that I don't have them hanging on me. I asked why one side has a huge dimple in it and was told that is is a dissoluble stitch to keep the implant in place. If it doesn't go away in a few weeks then the doctor will go in and take it out.
Right now I'm feeling down for a few reasons one is the way it looks, if I had know that this is how it would look with my body I would not have done reconstruction. The other major reason I'm down is that I was told today that I not be able to pick up my baby for 4 to 6 weeks, which means he will need to be in someone elses care during that time. I miss holding him and rocking him to sleep oh so much. It will all be worth it in the end but it really hurts, emotionally, right now.

Day 6 after Mastectomy

At home and looking at my new self. Not what I anticipated to see. I thought that I would look uniform and hopefully that does happen over time. I have a lot of swelling and bruising, Also the incisions are held together with glue, which is much more comfortable than stitches. I'm continuing to do my physical therapy exercises and am surprised at my range of motion over the last few days. The first day out of surgery I could not lift up my hand to grab a cup. The second day I could grab the cup and drink from it. Then the third day I was able to grab a small jug of water and pour myself a cup of water.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Day 5 after Mastectomy

Just some miscellaneous thoughts. It takes a long time to take a shower partly because you can't raise your hands above your head and partly because I'm way off balance. I wake up every every 4 to 5 hours due to needing pain meds, but that means that I miss the the time for the other drugs that aren't on the 4 to 5 hour schedule. It is impossible to put a bra by myself and hold the gauze in place. I'm also not able to brush my hair myself. I love having the kids just come and sit next to me in bed, it makes all of this worth it.
The drains aren't that bad, just kind of in the way when dressing, undressing, taking a shower, and such. I'm finding it hard to open things like pill bottles, because you have to press down and twist. I also had to call the nurse while in the hospital to tear open a ranch dressing package for me. I feel normalish when I'm lying in bed, but when I'm on my feet I'm way off balance and often have to keep a hand on the wall. So far things are going great, Granny and David are doing an awesome job taking care of the kids and myself. Also I have the greatest group of friends here. God has truly blessed me. I will continue to need help for many weeks to come and I'm sure that my friends will still be here to help me.

Day 4 after Mastectomy

I finally get to take a shower! As you see from the last two pictures it was much needed. The hardest part was getting the drains situated. Hopefully they will get taken out on Monday.

Day 3 after Mastectomy

Today's highlight is that I got to watch the fat snowflakes out the window.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Day 2 after mastectomy

My chest is really bruised and swollen with two drains sewn in on each side. Recovery is going better than I expected, but I'm also on a lot of drugs. So I have no idea what time it is or what day it is. I usually pass out after reading a paragraph from a book too. It made my day anytime someone came to visit, especially my children.

Day of Mastectomy

As son as we got into the car to go the hospital one of my favorite songs was playing on the radio. I knew that God was with me. All the facebook comments and messages also made a impact. Super excited about getting this thing start, but the surgeon was running over an hour late. Super sexy hospital socks. The worst part was getting the IV. Even got some Flowers before going to in to surgery. Coming out of recovery was a little rough, but the drugs finally kicked in. Surgery lasted 4 hours and I was told that it went better than expected.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Day before mastectomy

I went for a photo shoot with Morgan Matters Photography. I just decided yesterday that I should get some pictures done and luckily she was available. Since this was her first time doing this sort of shoot she didn't charge me, how awesome is that?! I'd like to document this journey so there may be some semi-nude photos on here coming up. Well today I'm anxious and trying to get my house in order. Laundry has been going all day, finally caught up on the blog, took Nolan to the doctor for an ear infection, now making lists of how to care for the children and trying to set up help for us, which is kind of hard since I'm not sure how we'll need help. But our freezer is fully stocked. I feel much like I did before going in to have Nolan. It's a weird feeling knowing that my life is going to change tomorrow. I greatly appreciate all the prayers and feel completely surrounded by God's peace with all our your comments. Thank you!

Enjoying hot coco